Dear Ellery Wynn

To My Ever Growing Ellery Wynn,

I told myself that I would write to you when you turned 18 months. That didn’t happen. But then the other night your Dad and I watched a movie and then I wept and decided it was time to write you a letter. The movie wasn’t even that sad, I think it was supposed to be a romantic comedy, but in it a mom had to put her daughter on a plane and send her off to college and I just bawled and continued to cry for a good half hour. And do you know what really got me? The thought of sending you to preschool. I know at some point I’ll do it. It’s good for you to spend time away from me and it’s good for me to spend time away from you, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever really want to. I really don’t want you to grow up, but I really really don’t want to hold you back. I want you to grow into being the person God made you to be and I won’t let my selfish desires get in the way of that. I also wept because this might be the only time in your life that you think I am the coolest thing to walk the Earth. Your dad and I can do ALMOST no wrong in your eyes and you absolutely adore us. I dread the day that you tell me you hate me. Due to my personality and being the enforcer I imagine you will unfortunately one day utter these words and while on the outside I’ll probably pretend like it’s fine and validate your feelings, on the inside I’ll die a little because no matter what happens I will never feel that way about you. You see my little girl I had no idea how it felt to be a mom until you came along and then I realized that I probably wasn’t the nicest to my mom. I’m sure I hurt her feelings and I know I said things I wish I could take back. We may not always see eye to eye. We might push each others buttons. You might wish that one of your friend’s mom’s was your mom some times. I will likely embarrass you accidentally or hurt your feelings. We will probably fight occasionally and doors might slam, but I want you to know this for always and forever….I love you more than I have words to express and I am so glad you are mine to love.

Love you forever,
Mama
Ellery 19 months