To my 4.5+ Year Old

To my lovely, delightful, little girl, Ellery Wynn,

Oh sweet girl.  It happened.  I have been anxiously awaiting the day for IT to happen, and it finally did, and instead of pure elation, which I was sure I would feel, I actually felt devastated.  You’ve decided you want to cut our bedtime routine down to just one book and a prayer.  You see girlie, bedtime routine had become a little ridiculous, here is what it did look like: potty, teeth brush, hair brush, pajamas, 2 short books or 1 long, a song, prayer, another song, talk about one thing, and then either mama snuggles or daddy jokes.  Oh, but then it didn’t even stop there.  Then we had to come check on you every 10 minutes for 30 minutes, then turn the light out and lay with you for another minute.  Add in a bath and a tantrum and some nights bedtime lasted well over an hour and it was exhausting.

Then one day you said, “I actually just want a book and a quick snuggle.”  We compromised and added prayer time in there.  You signal that the snuggle time is over when you either A. give me a kiss or B. say you love me, and you tell me what the cue is going to be when the snuggle begins.  If I’m lucky you let it last a whole 30 SECONDS.  You also go into your room by yourself and get your pjs on and take care of all your bathroom business alone too, tonight it all happened with the door closed.

This IS actually great.  You are growing up, gaining independence and it’s important.  I’m crazy proud of you, to be honest.  I love the girl you are becoming and I know that this is part of life, but goodness it’s a little heart wrenching for this mama to think about all the times I shortened the songs or begged you to pick a shorter book, or tried to hurry you through it because all it took was 4.5 years and the long bedtimes are done.  Just like that, the blink of an eye, and we are down to one book and a prayer.  Now, I’ve gotten a little sneaky, so when I come in and turn off your light to give you a snuggle I have started asking you a question to get the conversations back.  Tonight I asked you of all the books you’ve ever read what is your favorite?  I was surprised by the answer, “Sometimes I’m Bombaloo,” but I can see how you can greatly relate to this one so it really shouldn’t have been shocking.  I’m crossing my fingers you let me have these little chats every night when I say the final goodnight, but knowing everything is fleeting I’ll just cherish them while I get them.

It’s fun to watch you grow up, it’s so hard to let you go, I am holding tight to my last few months having you home with Vaughn and me 2 days a week.  I feel so grateful that I have had the absolute privilege of staying home with you since birth, but goodness it makes it hard to think about being away from you five days a week come fall.  You are ready, you are so ready for kindergarten, but this mama, well I’ll get there…..

Love You Forever!

Mama

Ellery 4.5

Photo courtesy of Annie who makes these necklaces 😉