Sometimes You Need a Reset

Yesterday we had a hard day.  Not the worst day ever, but it was one of those, holy moly my mom job is hard kind of days.  Ellery was out of sorts.  We spent a few days at my parent’s house, I worked, Andrew was out of town, and Elle got less sleep than normal.  It was the perfect recipe for tantrums, melt downs, and button pushing.  My oh my did she do a lot of button pushing!  I’ll spare you all the details, but let’s just say my child shattered a picture frame at one point and I did the walk of shame to the counter holding all the pieces while my child screamed her brains out.  If I had counted the number of times she told me no yesterday I would have been in the hundreds.  I texted Andrew yesterday and told him I needed a vacation.  Turns out all I really needed was a reset.

Today I got just that.  I got up and took a nice long shower without a little girl peeking in the curtain every few minutes.  I got dressed in real clothes, put on makeup, dried my hair and even ran a straightener through it.  Packed up a bunch of toys, dressed Elle in an adorable dress, got her in the car and actually arrived to a friend brunch this morning ON TIME.  She was in a good mood the whole time we were there, I got to eat and chat with friends while Ellery played with toys in the room next to us.  We came home and she played in her crib for an hour while I worked and then after she talked for a full hour she fell asleep which gave me the opportunity to go to Target ALONE while Andrew worked and she slept.  Came home, scooped out a bowl of mint chip ice cream and am now watching Bones while I type this.  She is still snoozing.  The master plan for this weekend was potty training, but at this point I’m telling myself, “why ruin a good thing.”  It’s either this week or August and the more I think about it, I think we’ll just wait until August.  I know that seems extreme, but if you saw our schedule for the next few months I think you would understand why it’s now or then.  I hope this weekend is beautiful where you are and if you need a reset, I truly hope you get one.

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Because I Want One

Have you ever heard of the website Quirky?  It’s a sight that allows people to post an invention and have people vote on whether or not it should be produced.  It also allows people to give advice on how to make something better.  I have no idea how many votes something has to get in order for it to be a go, but if you would be willing to vote for this particular invention I would appreciate it.  I was in small group in Austin with the inventor and when she originally told us this idea I said,”I really want one of those.”  It’s a mixing bowl that has a slot for your hand on the bottom instead of a handle because we’ve all experienced that awkward hold on a bowl as we scrape batter into a pan.  Please CLICK HERE to vote for the Handi Bowl because I really really want one!

What I’ve been up to lately

I can’t really tell you what I have been up to, but I can tell you what I haven’t been up to lately.  Cleaning.  My house is so dirty it’s crazy really (as in you can write your name on every piece of furniture).  I haven’t made our bed on a consistent basis since Christmas.  I always was a daily bed maker until this year.  I would say since the beginning of January I have maybe made the bed 5 times.  I also haven’t changed my sheets weekly this year either, and I used to be psycho about clean sheets.  I haven’t been working.  It’s been a bummer really, I really enjoy my job, but instead of working many days I’ve taken naps and in the last 2 weeks I’ve been so sick there was no way I could work.  I couldn’t even take care of Ellery.  My mom and dad took care of us all last week while I had a crazy painful case of TMJ.  Cooking, haven’t done much of that this year.  We’ve had more PB&J sandwiches for dinner than I’d like to admit and a couple weeks ago it occurred to me that I could buy chicken salad at the deli and have that for dinner on croissants and it looked like I tried a little harder.  Frozen pizza has been our friend and for the first time in our lives so has the drive thru.  Our eating out budget has definitely had to borrow a lot of money from our grocery budget lately.  Cloth Diapers, haven’t been doing those.  Gave myself the month off because I had over purchased size 3 and just down right didn’t feel like dealing with washing them.  Exercise, gave that up too.  I was exercising 5 days a week.  Got up every morning and did a video first thing before we started the day.  Quit that at the end of January.  Clearly I haven’t been doing a whole lot!

What have I been up to lately? Growing a little person inside my body.  Crazy how growing a life really takes it out of you.  I’ll be 14 weeks on Thursday, second trimester, can’t wait!  Baby Campbell due October 16, 2014.

Slow to Say No

I’ve been around a lot of different parents.  Seen different parenting styles.  Seen super consistent parents and not-so-consistent parents and I recently had a revelation about how to limit the number of tantrums in a day.  Be slow to say no.  How many times a day do you think you say no to your kid without really meaning it?  I realized this week I’m guilty of doing it relatively often.  I’ve seen countless parents cave to screaming children when they could have prevented the screams all together by just taking a moment, listening to the request and granting it the first time.  I don’t have a requesting child yet (she has a limited vocabulary still), but I’m going to tell you right now…. I will be guilty of this.  I already have been guilty of saying no to something dumb and then having to enforce the ridiculous no for the sake of teaching my daughter that when I say no I mean it.

Your kid asks for a snack, you say no, dinner is soon.  They start bawling because they are REALLY REALLY hungry, this is when it hits you that “soon” is actually an hour and a half away and a little snack is probably just what they need.  So you get them a snack because you are a loving parent who realized you were wrong in saying no.  What your kid heard was,”if mom says no the first time, I can scream until I get what I want.”  This creates a lot more screaming in the future.  Instead you could have taken the time to process the original snack request and said yes the first time and it saves you the tears, tantrums, and having to go back on your original answer.

Tonight, it’s bath time, Ellery is going up the stairs, but she really wants her new purple kick ball AND her violet doll.  I immediately say, “no we don’t need that for bath.”  She gets pretty persistent that she needs them in order to go upstairs.  Then it hits me….why can’t I carry them upstairs for her?  It really wasn’t an unreasonable request, but my first instinct was to say no.

No is an important word.  Boundaries are extremely important for kids, and adults.  But I’m realizing no should be an intentional word.  We should think before we speak it.  I’ve seen this yes mom movement going around the internet and I really like this idea of having a day per week where you just say yes to every request within reason.  I can imagine it makes for a kind of long day where you don’t get a whole lot of house work done, but I would bet my money that the memories you make on those days are the memories that your kids will talk about when they are older.

I’m not completely naive, I know it’s hard to take the time to listen and respond with intentionality.  Sometimes by the time your kid is asking you for something you’ve had a really long day or your mind is elsewhere.  Parents have a lot going on in their lives and I don’t want to make it sound like I think this will be the easiest thing or that it is the fix all for all your kid tantrum issues.  It’s just something I’ve been thinking about and thought I’d share it in hopes that it might help someone be able to enjoy their kid just a little bit more.  And who am I kidding, I wrote this so that I have some tips for myself for when Ellery is older and her requests are incessant!

Juice Obsessed

I drink a lot of water.  Definitely more than the average person.  When I was pregnant with Ellery and swelled to the size of the Michelin Man I asked my doctor if I should be drinking more water.  She asked how many ounces I drank a day and I told her around 100, she had a shocked look on her face and said,”um no that should be plenty.”  I don’t drink coffee, tea, soda (ok I drink soda occasionally), really anything except water….until Tuesday.  Tuesday I flew home from Austin and while I usually drink a ginger ale when I fly it was a morning flight and I wasn’t feeling it.  On a whim I decided to order an apple juice and now I’m addicted.  I gave Ellery a sip (her first sip of juice, besides green juice) and she went bonkers.  Like cried every time I took the cup away.  It was 100% juice, no sugar added, and my kid still went totally nuts.  So now I drink juice and I pretty much can’t get enough of it, and I don’t want my kid to drink juice so I have been sneaking it like a freaking drug addict for the last few days.  I know deep down I really shouldn’t be drinking my calories, but right now I don’t really care a whole lot.  The other day I had a stomach ache by dinner and when I thought back on my diet for the day it mainly consisted of juice, I totally wish I was kidding about that, I’m not.  I will eventually cut myself off.  Maybe once the jugs in my fridge are gone, maybe not.

{If you are thinking to yourself, wow Laura blogged two days in a row, it’s because we finally for the first time in a couple years have a personal computer, thank you tax refund.}

Rejoining the Living

If you follow me on instagram then you already know that we went on vacation to Austin for a week to visit family and brought back a lovely virus. All three of us. It’s been quite the week. I haven’t been sick that I can remember in the last 3 years. And doing the simple math means I’ve never been sick as a mother. Usually when I’m sick I feel kinda bad, but can still function decently well, not this time. This was the kind of sick where I was glued to the couch or snuggled in my bed for a straight 48 hours. My little sweetie has watched countless hours of television and actually took a nap in my bed yesterday because I just didn’t have the energy to put her in her crib and deal with the whole nap thing. I struggled with mama guilt for about a minute and then realized there was nothing I could do and that I had two priorities. Feeding her and changing her. That was the best I could do so there was nothing to feel bad about. Last night Andrew ventured out with Elle for an hour so I could enjoy some quiet and came back with Wendy’s for dinner, big fat check mark in the food category, and I didn’t even care a little bit that it was fried and terrible for us, we ate and that’s what mattered.

This morning I rejoined the living. It was kinda magical really. I woke up feeling actually quite rested. Came downstairs, made breakfast, unloaded the dishwasher (that has been sitting clean since before we left), loaded the dishwasher and threw in a load of laundry. Because I’m not a complete idiot I am still planning to sleep while Ellery takes a nap today and get to bed at a decent time tonight, but boy is it nice to feel like I can do something again!! It’s also been quite the reminder of what I actually do all day because I haven’t done anything since I got home and my house is, well let’s just say it would make a hoarder feel good about themselves.